Different Types Of BDSM Training And Where To Find It

Someone once asked me why BDSM Training exists in the first place? They were under the expression that there is so little material you could deep dive into and teach. They couldn’t be more wrong. Here are a variety of different things and topics people could learn:  

Being a Good Dominant

A good Dominant is not just assertive, they’re also patient, respectful, and deeply responsible for their submissive’s well-being. Poorly educated Doms risk emotional or physical harm to their partners. Dominant training includes setting structure, learning consent culture, emotional regulation, scene planning, and mastering authority without ego. For example, knowing how to lead a protocol without becoming controlling is a skill earned through study and self-awareness. Many dominants take bdsm training programs at some point in their journey to refine their leadership style and skill level.

Being a Good Submissive

Being a good submissive isn’t about obedience alone, it’s about mindful surrender, boundary-setting, and personal discipline. Training involves learning how to communicate needs, give feedback, serve with integrity, and understanding your doms deepest desires. A well-trained submissive knows the difference between healthy submission and codependency, and how to advocate for themselves respectfully within a dynamic.

Sub Drop: How to Detect and Counter It

Sub drop is the emotional or physical crash a submissive may experience after a scene due to hormonal shifts, emotional release, or unmet expectations. Without awareness, it can cause confusion, sadness, or even trauma. Submissives and Dominants should learn the signs: lethargy, mood swings, dissociation, and prepare with aftercare plans. A common prevention method is gentle touch, warm blankets, and verbal reassurance immediately after play.

Dom Drop: How to Detect and Counter It

Dom drop occurs when a Dominant feels guilt, emptiness, or disconnection after a scene. It’s less often discussed but just as real. Without understanding, Doms might internalize blame or emotionally withdraw. Training teaches Dominants to recognize these signs and reach out for support, whether from their submissive or the community. 

Negotiation & Communication

Negotiation is the foundation of every healthy BDSM scene. Without it, boundaries can be crossed, and trust broken. Effective communication involves discussing desires, hard and soft limits, expectations, and aftercare. Practitioners should learn to negotiate with clarity and patience, using tools like kink checklists. For example, a couple planning a flogging scene might negotiate intensity levels, and agreed-upon signals for pause or stop.

Consent, Boundaries, and Safe Words

Consent in BDSM must be informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing. Safe words—pre-agreed signals that halt or slow play—are essential tools. Without them, players risk emotional or physical harm. Training teaches how to give, revoke, and recognize valid consent. For example, “yellow” might signal discomfort without ending the scene, while “red” is a full stop. 

Sub Space: How to Access It

Sub space is an altered mental state of deep surrender or euphoria some submissives enter during a scene. It can be induced through sensory play, rhythm, or ritual. Training a trigger, like putting on a submissive collar before play, can condition the mind to slip into sub space safely and fast. 

Dom Space: How to Access It

Dom space is a focused, empowered headspace where the Dominant feels deeply connected to control and intention. It’s not aggression or arrogance—it’s a flow state of leadership. Without training, Doms may confuse control with ego. Reaching Dom space often involves rituals, tone setting, and presence. 

How to Give and Receive Aftercare

Aftercare is the emotional and physical support given after a scene. Skipping it can leave both parties feeling disoriented or neglected. Training teaches how to identify what kind of aftercare is needed, blankets, lotions, bandages, cuddles, reassurance, alone time, or debriefing. For example, a submissive might need verbal affirmation and water after intense humiliation play, while a Dominant may need quiet space to process emotional energy.

Impact Play: Spanking, Flogging, Paddling, Caning

Impact play involves striking the body for sensation, pain, or pleasure. While popular, it carries risks like bruising, nerve damage, or emotional triggers. Proper training teaches how to warm up, avoid dangerous areas (like the spine or kidneys), and use rhythm and intensity safely. For example, a flogger can deliver deep, thuddy sensations, but must be swung with control and knowledge of anatomy. Some bdsm classes offer hands-on tutorials in spanking, paddling, and flogging under expert supervision.

Safe Zones of the Body

Certain parts of the body can handle impact or restraint better than others. Unsafe play areas include the kidneys, neck, joints, or the spine. Training outlines safe zones—like the buttocks, thighs, and upper back—and how to distribute force safely. For example, spanking is generally safe on the fleshy part of the buttocks.

Restraints: Rope, Cuffs, Harnesses, Tape

Restraints are used to limit movement and enhance submission, but improper use can cause injury. Rope bondage requires knowledge of tension, nerve placement, and escape readiness. Cuffs are safer for beginners, while tape should never be used on hair or sensitive skin. Training emphasizes circulation checks (e.g., “two-finger” rule), pressure points, and constant communication to ensure safe and sustainable restraint scenes.

Shibari: Artistic Rope Bondage

Shibari is a Japanese style of rope bondage that emphasizes aesthetics, symmetry, and emotional connection. It can be meditative and deeply intimate. Risks include nerve compression and positional asphyxia. Practitioners should learn foundational knots, body mechanics, and safety shears usage. For example, a simple chest harness (shinju) can be both visually striking and emotionally binding, but must be placed above the ribcage to avoid injury.

Toys: What Exists and How to Use Them

BDSM toys range from floggers, paddles, crops, clamps, gags, to electrostimulation tools. Each has different effects, uses, and safety considerations. For example, nipple clamps create sharp stimulation and should be removed gradually to avoid shock pain. Training helps users understand material quality, cleaning practices, and body-safe use. Beginners often start with simpler toys, while advanced players explore customized or electric tools.

Rituals

Rituals in BDSM create structure, emotional anchoring, and meaning in power exchange dynamics. These can be daily (kneeling, collaring, greetings) or scene-based (lighting candles, titles, commands). Without training, rituals can become performative or empty. Structured guidance teaches how to develop rituals that are sustainable, affirming, and emotionally resonant. For example, a submissive may recite a mantra each morning as a grounding act of devotion.

Submissive Training

Submissive training builds routine, purpose, and skill in serving within a D/s dynamic. It can involve household tasks, obedience drills, posture training, and sexual pleasing. Without structure, submissives may feel lost or unfulfilled. Training plans often include goals, feedback sessions, and rewards. For example, a submissive might practice standing in presentation pose daily as part of their routine.

Advanced Kinks: Breath Play, Knife Play, Electro Stimulation

Advanced kinks offer intense sensations but carry serious risks. Breath play can cause unconsciousness if done improperly. Knife play risks cutting or panic, and electro play can interfere with heart rhythms. Training is non-negotiable for these practices—players must understand anatomy, emergency response, and psychological readiness. For example, electro stimulation devices should never cross the chest. Because of the risk involved, bdsm training, ideally in-person bdsm classes, are absolutely critical before attempting edge play like knife play or breath control.